Thursday, April 15, 2021
People can live an entire lifetime depriving themselves, in pursuit of a purpose, in search of a relationship, or in doing things that feel like putting others first. But if you try to put others first, without concern for your own wellness, you can become lost. These meandering feelings echo deep within, because they’re telling you that your greatest need is actually you, not someone else’s so-called need. You will know that you have deprived yourself, if you have guest towels that are nicer and cleaner than the ones you use, or if you use only the “fancy” dishes when company comes over. You’ll organize and straighten up your place, only if someone else is coming for a visit. That’s not putting others first, that’s just acknowledging that you feel unworthy of your very own graciousness, tidiness, and hospitality. It means you don’t love yourself enough to roll out the red carpet for yourself, each and every day. Even the simple act of making your own bed makes all the difference in the world, even if you are the only one who sees it.
When you deprive yourself of the care that you only give to others, life gets dim. Life gets untenable, actually. It feels dull, routine, stuck, and opportunity ceases. If you deprive yourself in the name of putting others first, you will forget who you really are. When you really want to put others first, you must include yourself, in the “others” category. You have needs, feelings, desires, concerns and opportunities for growth. If you deny those things, put them on hold, or reject them, life responds, often harshly. Purpose is not fulfilled through what you believe others need. Purpose if fulfilled by giving yourself what you need. We cannot achieve our life’s purpose, if we put ourselves in second place or think that our own desires and self-care don’t matter. Your purpose is in connecting to and responding to the world’s greatest need – the one that calls you home, to yourself.