Wednesday, April 14, 2021
I once worked with a college administrator who was loathed by everyone on the faculty. He wasn’t necessarily an inherently mean person, but a condescending one, egotistical and belittling. He spoke out of both sides of his mouth, and although he talked incessantly, he rarely said a thing. His favorite word was “no,” and instead of promoting faculty and students (as all administrators should do), he promoted himself. At one point, I believed he made me miserable, until I understood that he was actually important to my development. He became my greatest spiritual teacher, and for that I’m grateful.
This person taught me the value of putting others first. I hated how he talked, non-stop. I hated his pontifical speeches, and how he used language as a weapon against others. He, by example of the opposite, taught me to value listening, over speech. He loved the spotlight, and because I saw how off-putting that had become to me and my colleagues, I began to value being “back stage” instead. I learned to promote, celebrate, and encourage the success of others. He taught me the great joy of asking questions and in being truthfully interested in others. He taught me the value of community. Through his inciting words and actions, I learned how to put the needs of the group over my own agenda. By showing me the opposite of how I desired to be, he became a valuable and lasting teacher. But, rather than “leading” by putting others down, by promoting my own ego, and by squelching the voice of others; I decided to emulate everything that he is not. I vowed to not follow his example. If there is someone in your life that causes you challenge, try to find the lessons, rather than the faults. Find the wisdom in what they can teach you about yourself.