Friday, February 13, 2026
“Dead Inside.” That’s what her shirt said, a lady I once saw at the gym. My prayer is to resurrect the dead inside. It’s a mammoth task, but I cannot live this fullness of life without an attempt to have others join me.
The zest of being more fully alive is too generous to keep to myself. But, when I was dead inside, I’m not sure I would’ve cared. I was asleep. I was ridden with guilt, and confused about who I was. My compulsions and addictions hovered. My complaints fell on empty ears. My sense of control was strong, yet evasive. I didn’t realize there was a Mind of my mind; a Heart of my heart; and a Love of my love.
Mr. Rogers was so right, it is such a good feeling to know you’re alive. And in that kind of knowing, logic is senseless, reason has no prayer, and thought ceases. When you know you’re alive, it’s breathless, in the same way as you might be when you see an opulent space like a cathedral. Or a masterpiece work of art. You are at a loss for words.
When you’re at a loss for words all the time, you have achieved something few experience – euphoria, a heavenly, unconditioned sunshine that soars limitlessly above the clouds. You see infinite levels of aliveness that hum with brightness so fair, so deep, so broad, words pale. It’s unearthly.
Perhaps I should retitle this blog “My Heavenly Sunshine.” It’s before the sun comes up on earth that the unearthly sun comes up in the soul. And the soul is singing heavenly sunshine before your feet hit the floor. How can someone be so alive, as a child? Conventional thinking would say you’ve got your head in the clouds. That was me when I was dead inside.
But now, it’s heavenly sunshine.