Friday, August 7, 2026
It’s so hard “to do” for another. The pleasure gauge is fickle. I’d suggest doing yourself – meaning, you do you, and I’ll do me. This is self-monitoring. Yours is the only pleasure gauge, the quality meter of life.
You cannot write for another’s pleasure – the so-called reader. You can’t have sex for another. Imagine that – having sex “for” another person. Total denial of one’s own sensuality. That’s not pleasant! Keep your eyes in the cockpit of your soul! Quality control is yours.
Giving and receiving get blurry. Put it this way, who is pleasing whom? Yes. Who is pleasing whom – not a question. It’s one. In consensual intercourse, even in total submission, the submitter does so willingly, for his own sinister pleasure. To be willing is to enjoy turning oneself over to another. Joy for joy’s sake. One and only, your complete joy, surrendered in ecstasy.
With force, however, you need a victim, and the victim needs a perpetrator. Forceful ones love force. To “get off” one needs force – resistance. What if the chosen target isn’t resistant? He wants to be unwanted – pushed away. And as long as he’s unwanted, he gets what he wants – force.
Now, how do you “force yourself?” First, you find a vulnerable target, usually an unpleasant scenario or an image of self in your own head. Then, you attack it, thinking of it repeatedly. As you’re attacking, you are imagining it “fighting back.” Let me ask you, can you attack the image in the mirror? If you do, you’ll cut your hand on the glass.
What if what you wanted wanted you back? If you’re a perpetrator, you wouldn’t want that. Stop forcing and resistance ceases. Things float to you. Stop being the victim. No forcer comes to violate you.
Force begets a perpetrator/victim duality. (It’s all you by the way).
If you want to be unwanted and completely abandoned, keep fighting for your life or your freedom.