Tuesday, January 21, 2025
It takes a while to discern what you want, what you like, and how you want to design your life. It also changes and evolves, and this gets tricky. You may not know what you like. You might have to taste things that are bitter before you find the sweetness.
One of the most difficult things to do is not to sell out. This is true for me in past relationships. I have a hard time honoring myself when I’m coupled. A so-called full-time relationship, or a full-time anything is deadly. I don’t like that word – full-time.
Life is a part-time gig. If you’re lucky to live 80 years, I consider that nano-time, compared to the 13 billion years the universe has been around. Selling out is giving away your precious life. Full-time work causes burn out, and when you burn out, your spirit decays. Burn out is lights out. But a youthful spirit burns brightly with curiosity, desire, and freedom. When you sell yourself out, you turn out the lights.
Everything is part-time now. My relationships, my thoughts, my activities, and my work. I check in with the inner being, making sure I honor that part of me that might want to make noise at 3a.m. I honor that part of me that might want to pick up and go to the beach on a random Tuesday. That “part” of me is changing and keeping me guessing. I can’t devote myself full-time to anything. I’m a part-timer now. I gotta leave some room to stay fresh, alive, and always wondering – what’s next, what do I want, and what do I like? I’m devoting my utmost attention to spirit, full-time.
Full-time companionship, full-time work, full-time anything burns me out. I’m a part-timer now. I shall relish in pastime, being more faithfully myself, full-time.