Friday, November 22, 2024
I once saw a sign in someone’s bathroom that read, “Welcome to the bathroom. Please be seated. Remember how long a minute is depends upon which side of the door you’re on.” How wise! When you’re sitting on the commode, or the throne, and someone knocks on the door, you say, “Just a minute.” The one on the throne has a luxurious minute, while the one who is banished from the throne has one hell of a minute.
When I stand on the outside, and things seem dire, I have forgotten that I have my own master suite. Eventually, I figure it out. Knocking on the door is a momentary lapse. Crossing my knees, trembling on the outside is a reminder. The urgency is a reminder that I have my own suite. Oh yes! I forgot.
If you’re standing on the outside, holding your crotch in desperation, you have forgotten you have your own, luxurious en suite minute. No-one is sitting on your throne. No-one is knocking on the door either. Relax. We all have our own, and what feels like a knock on the door is an illusion. No-one is barging in on you, and you are not on the so-called outside trying to barge in. You’ve got your own seat – a golden palace of sweet relief! There aren’t two sides. There are no doors. You can relieve yourself anywhere. It’s your palace, and you’re always on the throne. You just forget that you are always comfortably seated.