Wednesday, August 14, 2024
I used to put in my syllabus that the schedule was subject to change. Never were words truer! Everything is in constant flux, and we desperately try to keep things stable to make ourselves feel safe. But whatever you think of as protective or that you’ve got your basses covered is a farce. Life is messy and flowing, and perfectionists can’t deal with it. They try to stop the flow. Come on, get with it!
You can always expect something to turn out differently, even if only slightly. Imperfections come with perfections and everything is moving and evolving. When concept turns into reality, something about it won’t fit the model in your head. It might even blow your mind to smithereens, or it might be a dud.
Perfectionism is a deep-seated fear that something might go wrong. I can guarantee something will go wrong. Going wrong is to be expected. But we do everything in our power to make it come out just right, never realizing everything is subject to change. If it does come out just right, we fret about losing it, and so we sweat bullets to keep it just thus and so. But if you pin your sense of satisfaction or safety on your ability to keep things thus and so, look out. Nothing is stable.
It’s not stable – nothing in this world is, so pinning your emotional wellness on quicksand is a bad idea. Where else could you turn to for support? There’s got to be a real foundation of emotional stability in this universe. I wonder what that could be? Perhaps it’s the realization that your so-called need to control how it turns out is an exercise in futility. Surrender. It’s much easier, and you’ll be much happier.