Thursday, October 28, 2021
The people-pleaser says: “If you are happy, then I am happy.” The generous person says, “I am happy; therefore, I express my happiness in giving where I see a need.” True generosity has no obligation, no expectation of reciprocity. Giving can’t be bound up in the reaction of the receiver, otherwise the gift comes with a liability clause. How could you ever know what pleases another, anyway? If it pleases you, then that seems good enough.
The intention of generosity comes to you like a good idea comes to you. The universe will show you how to be generous, for your own sense of joy, wellness, and fulfillment. The universe does’t show you how to be generous in order to keep the world happy, the universe shows you where you can be generous so you can be happy. There’s nothing more to it. Remember, the purpose of generosity is fulfilling what needs you recognize in the world and responding to them cheerfully, not with an expectation of reciprocity (the pleasure of others). People-pleasers run the risk of loosing themselves in their insidious attempt to make others happy, and they never learn how to make themselves happy. Managing your own happiness is your business, not others.
Intentional generosity places the responsibility of pleasure on the giver, not the receiver. It takes a huge weight off of the act of giving. It’s not a selfish gesture, it’s an honest intention. People-pleasing isn’t an honest intention, it’s one that is questioned, if the receiver is displeased. Honest intentions to give are expressions of cheer and goodwill. No need to question that! In honest, intentional giving, generosity becomes about learning of a deeper desire to give, one that is rooted in your own expression of inner cheerfulness. So express your inner cheer through giving, for the sake of your own pleasure!