Tuesday, September 7, 2021
To love is to allow, to be soft, and to be supple. To love is not to possess nor to manipulate another. To love is to let go of the rigid concept of what’s “mine.” We all want to be loved, but no-one wants to be controlled or possessed by another. When you love someone, it’s easy to be fearful that they might leave you or they be taken from you in death. When you fear loss, you become desperate. Love and desperation cannot live in the same space. Love is not desperate because it knows that all things are temporary. It doesn’t clamp down in an attempt to keep a hold of it, forever. It loosens its grip, and it becomes soft, willing to allow fate to take its course.
If you want love to grow, it’s best to step back slightly, and to give it room to breathe. Like plants, it needs air, space, nutrients, time, and patience. By stepping back, you allow love to strengthen, rather than to create a desperate feeling of dependence on another. Love cannot flourish when you enslave another by depending upon them for all manner of happiness and fulfillment. If you think you cannot live without someone, you burden them with the task of keeping you alive. What kind of a bondage is that? If it’s true love, you have to be willing to let go, to give it time and space, and to allow it the freedom to boomerang back to you, if it so desires. Love never holds on too tightly, and if it does, it’s possessiveness and it’s manipulative. If it’s free to chose what it wants, and it’s tender, and it’s open, then you’re getting closer to the truth of love itself.