Tuesday, July 27, 2021
True giving is one born out of love, and love has no expectations, no conditions, and no strings attached. But do you give to yourself, without expectation? Or have you given up on yourself, and let yourself go? This happens to many people. We don’t know how to give to ourselves. We don’t give ourselves what we might need – time, solitude, space, respect, love. We don’t give ourselves proper care, nourishment, or encouragement. If in a rare occasion we do give to ourselves, we expect something in return. Take for example time. If we give ourselves time, we expect to use it wisely. If we give ourselves proper nutrition, we expect that we’ll lose weight. If we give ourselves respect, we expect that others will treat us respectfully. But true giving, born out of love, is relentless, unconditional, and joyfully free of expectation. It’s never attached to guilt, regret, or condemnation or worth. Many people are simply waiting to feel worthy before they give themselves anything that is worthy. That’s conditional!
Free yourself from those conditions, and you can give freely! Maya Angelou said it so brilliantly, “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.” It’s not one hand for giving, and the other for receiving. That’s giving with expectation. Ask yourself everyday, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Don’t obsess or pester yourself, but give yourself a chance to articulate and develop a desire. Respond to the desire to give yourself something today – time, solitude, tenderness, respect, care, affection – whatever you feel is missing in your life, you can give it to yourself because you are worth it. If it’s without expectation, it’s the right thing to do, and it just feels good for goodness’ sake. Just like a loving friend may ask, ask yourself what you need today. Give to yourself, then give to others, without expecting a thing in return. Why? Because everyone, including yourself, is worthy of every gift you can give. That’s how you know you’re practicing real love, that which cannot be attached to any conditions. It always begins with what you give to yourself, first!