Monday, April 20, 2026
We secretly look down upon the “unfortunate.”
Would you really hangout with the homeless if you didn’t see them as degenerate, but just as people? Would those you’re trying to help really be your friends, people whose company delights you? Would you invite them over, let them sleep in your home, or watch movies with you and your kids?
Many help, so their god will give them status. This is a hidden shadow in our “good deeds.” You call this an indulgence, or ingratiation, doing something intended to gain approval. I call it guilt.
The church used to sell indulgences. It’s an I.O.U. of sorts. Give, and God will return the favor. We assume God needs our help. But who makes the helpless if not those who extend a so-called helping hand?
Sycophantic describes behavior that is excessively flattering and subservient, often with the intention of gaining favor or advantage. It implies a lack of sincerity and a willingness to please those in positions of power (or the “lowly), even if it means compromising one’s own integrity.
At a church I once served, they gave the homeless daily sandwiches. While that seems noble, it’s redhanded guilt. No friendships. No invitations. No connections. Sandwiches are handed out, then the shop is closed. “Givers” go home.
If you give, check your subservience. Who are you really serving? I assume for most of us, we’re doing our best to appease an angry god who demands “service.” Our subservience feels like “good deeds.”
Delight in your giving to whom you want to give, even if they are wealthy. If you truly seek friends on the street, be with them. Feeling sorry for them exacerbates their own sense of dejection.
Turn everyone into a peer, a potential friend. Do you make a connection, a spark?
Choose your friends wisely.