Thursday, April 2, 2026
If you’re disliked, let the critic feast on his distaste of you. Whenever someone stumbles, we love to partake in the juicy gossip. When you stumble, let people feast on your schadenfreude, which is “failure-gluttony”: the act of stuffing oneself on someone else’s mistake. The critic gets off, and you do too. You benefit from failures; and they love pointing and laughing at your behest.
Don’t worry about giving. You can’t give without someone calling it jazz, and you can’t live without someone finding fault. Your gifts and your life come out like sweet relief—perhaps like a turd. Some find joy while others find only the stench. The critic will share your smelliness, enjoying themselves as they shred and reject you. They find what’s wrong. The critic shares their distastes while you share your tastes, but they work in cahoots like a couple of bandits.
Give without regard. Let the critic devour you; he’s thrilled. It gives him a little zing in his boy parts. Why deprive him? Allow the critic to indulge. Let them please themselves “giving feedback” after you’ve pleased yourself “giving back.” Let the judge luxuriate in your so-called shortcomings. Let everyone come to your blowout! Give without ceasing. Spread, oh spread, thy mighty word. The critic spreads the word too—and her legs.
The judge must have something to judge. That’s where you come in. Go on, blow it out without regard. You’ll enjoy giving, and so will the critic, letting you “have it.” Let everyone’s eyes roll back in bliss—even the complainers, the judges, and the critics. Should we deprive anyone of our presence or our “presents?”
If someone finds you (your presence) and your gifts (your presents) offensive, then fine. Even the critic can get off on your behalf. It’s a win-win when we’re all in cahoots, like a couple of bandits. Don’t forget the critic in your secret posse.