Wednesday, October 22, 2025
Happy Easter Everyone! I know Easter was 6 months ago, but the day of this writing is April 20, Easter Sunday. Christians everywhere will utter a senseless word, “Alleluia.” What in the hell does this mean?
Some words are symbols. They stand for a countless way to convey sentiment. My version of “Alleluia” is “Oh, to hell with it!”
There are countless other ways of expressing this symbol:
Just do it, already.
Get over yourself.
Snap out of it, and go.
Pay attention, you’re turning this into drama.
It ain’t nothing but a thing.
Oh, stop it.
Really?!
You know it’s not that serious.
It’s just music. It’s just church. It’s just a heart attack. It’s just death. Get over it.
You don’t owe. Nothing is owed. There are no debts. Alleluia reminds us of the spontaneity of the moment. It’s like a fart. OK. Big deal. You farted! What are you guilty of? Alleluia. Keep going. Everybody farts, even the Lord Jesus. Joseph Smith, Muhammad and The Buddha let ’em rip. They may have even shat themselves!! Stop turning them into fartless (or faultless) deity.
It’s death. It’s only death. Now get over it. Death is funny. The end of the world is funny. God is funny. Dyed eggs. Chocolate peanut butter cups. Plastic green shreds of grass in a basket full of nothing. Bunnies, rising sacrificial lambs, pieced sides, wooden crosses, and temples full of meaningless trinkets. What the hell?
Happy Easter, and to hell with it. You’re forgiven, cleaned, and washed. All this funny business is giving me pain in my side. I’m in stitches. To hell with it then. A fart at a funeral will crack up the dignity of your so-called godly life. Get the hell over the bunny trail, and don’t forget, Peter Cottontail, it’s just a fart, and no one is holier than thou. Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!