Friday, December 13, 2024
Your greatest triumph won’t be conquering or mastering a skill, becoming the best at anything, or having the most. It will be conquering the idea of “me.” In the idea of “me” lies a limit, a grueling battle of mind and heart, a tussle with belief and reality. Unfortunately, many of us think reality is real. But what we see as reality is nothing but an illusion, especially the idea of the separate self.
If you had control, like you think you do, then why can’t you control yourself? What about those outbursts, those addictions, and those whoopsies? If you had control, couldn’t you control those seeming uncontrollable moments where you lash out and “lose it?” You can’t get your sh!t together. No-one can.
We go back and forth between the illusion of control and the illusion of everything seeming to be out of control. Moments come where we’ve “got it all together,” and then the sh!t hits the fan, and we “lose it” again. If control were really in your control, why can’t you seem to get your sh!t together? If control were really under your control, you’d never lose your cool, people would never leave you, your abilities wouldn’t fade, and your memories would never be lost. You could hold onto it forever and “keep it together.”
The illusion of control or being out of control are an act. Voluntary or involuntary, you don’t have it. “You got this!” Until you don’t. There’s nothing to get. There’s nothing to lose. At some point, you have to realize the trick. It’s best to get over yourself and let it all happen. Or, are you too busy insisting you can “finally” get it under control? “You got this!” Fat chance. It’ll be a matter of time before it wiggles out of your ghostlike hands. You can’t catch a dream.