Tuesday, August 8, 2023
Why do something you hate? So many of us make choices of what to do based on our perception of how others may feel; on what we think we “should do” or on some religious teaching that says it’s a moral obligation. Is guilt really a virtue?
If we’re really honest with ourselves, it’s peace of mind or enjoyment that we’re after in just about every choice over which we deliberate. We’re searching for a feeling. If you imagine yourself doing it, you’re trying to see if it feels good, confirming, or peaceful. You’re not looking for resistance! Guilt is never a good reason to do anything, ever – even if it seems like the so-called best thing to do. I say this – if it were right, you wouldn’t feel guilty. If it were right, you’d feel right.
If you aren’t doing what everyone else is doing, don’t ever feel obligated to conform. Why not follow your own compass, the one that says, “I enjoy this or that.” Go with what you’d enjoy – what’s right for you. That’s not being selfish, that’s being a good person. If you choose based on what makes you happy and peaceful, then you’re a happy and peaceful person. How is that selfish? If someone asks for your help, and you feel that “ugh” feeling, like you don’t think you’ll enjoy helping them, at least be honest! So now you’re well-tempered and truthful. Now those are virtues! Do it because it creates a sense of joy and love within you. That’s the only reason I choose anything. I hope you enjoy helping others, but if not – don’t feel guilty! It’s no wonder that so many people are unhappy in their relationships, careers, or lackluster lives. Life is too short to be doing things that you resent or feel yucky about. Why not think it through more carefully the next time you’re faced with a choice?