Monday, September 12, 2022
To delay the trigger of compulsion, you need space and time. That space allows a healthier appetite to blossom, one that leads to better choices. My grandmother did that with cigarettes, years ago. She put them in a cookie jar, and closed the lid. Every time she wanted to open it for a smoke, she paused and thought, “I can wait a little longer.” As she repeated this action, she allowed herself more and more time to “wait.” Eventually the wait was permanent.
Better disciplines come from what feels like waiting. But it’s a good delay, preventing you from the knee-jerk impulse to have and to partake, right now. When you allow desire to intensify, (like hunger or libido), you give yourself time to notice what actually feels enriching, healthy, and satisfying. Real, nutritious food tastes satisfying. Passionate, loving sex has satiety and meaning. Acting at the right moment feels more rewarding. Partaking at the right time is more savory. Impulsive actions, immediate gratification, and instant pleasure increase your appetite for more. Compulsion is an empty calorie, a rat wheel that never fills your cup.
To fill your cup, so to speak, you need to fill yourself with more space, give yourself more time to build the seeds of discipline. Too many of us jump in before we discern what’s the most fulfilling option. Think of your future self. He/she will be the one who will benefit from “delays,” and will receive the gift of small disciplines that you start right now. Invest in your future – save instead of spending; move instead of being lethargic; give instead of taking; and wait instead of giving into impulse. You don’t have to pull the trigger. Let a healthy appetite grow, live with the situation a little longer, and act or partake at just the right time. Don’t worry, you are not time-poor. You can wait, just a little bit longer.