Thursday, March 10, 2022
Humans have a natural inclination to avoid pain, and many of us use this as a leveraging device to get people to behave the way we want them to. As you mature, you will eventually learn that what you really want in your life is more joy, a more-sustaining peace, unconditional love, intimacy, and kindness. In order to “have” those things, you cannot manipulate others by threatening to get upset to control their behavior. Keeping your finger on your emotional trigger, ready to be “set off” if things are not just as you want them to be, is actually the root of your suffering, not the actions (or lack of action) of others.
Things in your life don’t need to be a certain way before you can find a deeper kind of happiness. I’m not referring to the kind of happiness that depends on results, I’m talking about intrinsic, unconditional joy. If you command people with a fear that your emotions are on the verge of eruption, if they don’t behave like you want them to, others may try to keep you happy for a while, but they’re trying the impossible. Your emotions are not in their hands, they’re in your hands – your finger is on the trigger, remember?
If you want more love, if you want more laughter, if you want more joy, then be those things, right now. When you keep your finger on your emotional trigger, those around you will fear your emotional “suicide,” but their motivation to keep you from firing the gun won’t be effective for very long. Soon your misery (and theirs) will get the best of you, and if it doesn’t, the situation will rapidly deteriorate into a catastrophe, a total loss. There is a much better way to get what you want than by emotional manipulation. Take your finger off of the trigger, the only person who gets hurt when you “shoot” is you. Think about it.