Friday, February 11, 2022
When you focus on others, you’re focusing on what amounts to an illusion. There would never be a way to focus on the feelings of others anyway, unless you can inhabit their bodies and feel their feelings. If you try to focus on others, you’re only focusing on what you think they feel. If you really want to focus, focus on what you feel. Everything else is a guess, an unreal projection of the mind.
What you think is a selfless gesture is merely a backdoor reflection of what you want, not necessarily what others want. Your desires are the only ones you can be sure of, and ultimately what you want is to feel good, to be happy, to feel loved, and to sense peace. Aren’t you just trying to be pleased with yourself?
Whatever you focus on grows. If you try to focus on pleasing others, you’re trying to do the impossible, you’re focusing on a concept. Focusing on a concept is illusory in nature, it doesn’t have a tangible quality to it. Your own feelings, those are within your power to actually perceive. In other words, your feelings are the only way to gauge your life’s satisfaction in your actions for others. If your intention is laced in the desire and responsibility for your own happiness, as your focal point, you’re likely to become a more pleasurable person to be around. The byproduct of that kind of self-satisfaction is that people will most likely be happy to be around you. They will be happy to be around you just because you’re happy with yourself, not necessarily because of what you’ve done for them. It’s wonderful to do things for others, but remember that the focal point of your desire is ultimately upon one to be happy with yourself. Stick with what you know (your own feelings), and take the guess work out of pleasing others.