Saturday, October 30, 2021
There is competition in this world. It’s a competition where we try to show each other whose problems are worse, more complex, and far more devastating than another’s. Identifying with being busy, and with having more complex problems than others, is a form of egotistical competition, one with no real winner. It’s a way of calling attention to the ego and it says, “look at me, I’m suffering more than you.” It just magnifies the fact that one hasn’t effectively managed themselves, and needs a trophy for their award-winning suffering. When we haven’t effectively been able to get out in front of what causes us to complain and to be irritated, then the suffering itself becomes life’s attention-getting reward. I don’t want that kind of recognition, do you?
But if you want to win, don’t compete in that contest. An innocent amount of complaining is what starts the race, and then “we’re off.” Let’s see whose sob story is more dramatic. Let’s see whose embarrassment is more devastating. Let’s see whose schedule is most complex and overburdened. Let’s see whose email inbox is fuller than the others. Let’s see who is “busier,” financially destitute, and more pathetic than everyone else in the room. There can never be a winner in that kind of so-called competition.
If you’re going through a rough time, sure express yourself, but don’t let it turn into a competitive comparison. Rather, share your victories. Share your discoveries. Share your solutions. Share your insights. You can share your doubts, your fears, and your concerns, but not as a means of showing others how many problems you have. Winning the competition of being the biggest “loser,” one whose misery is trying to outshine another, isn’t very healthy. No one wants a gold metal for being the highest-ranking sufferer, unless it’s a way of satisfying a petulant need for attention. Trying to outdo the competition, in the “game” of suffering is insidious. Diffuse that competition and start sharing something worth celebrating.