Monday, January 5, 2026
Having a guilty conscience is tough. I had one for most of my life. I felt guilty about things that I couldn’t change. We must realize we can’t help it. That is not to say we shouldn’t put people in prison who do horrible things. But contrition is a way of life. Cleansing your guilt is not formulaic.
Guilt is a misunderstanding within you that makes you feel dirty, fundamentally broken, and messed up. But give that some deep contemplation. You have no choice in whatever seems to be bugging you. You still have no choice, no matter what you do or say. That’s why we live with a forgiving heart. We never forgive once, but we live with a forgiving sensibility until our dying day.
Once you start practicing unconditional forgiveness, you’ll live contritely. You’ll humble yourself into submission and expose love’s truth – that vulnerability is not weak, but can melt mountains. Love loves to be exposed. But not in a confrontational way, but in an alluring way. It invites, but does not grab. It prefers, yet surrenders first, when a standstill seems to have been met.
A forgiving heart leans on a different kind of understanding. It is this: preference is not “diehard.” Preference is not “must have.” Preference is a slight leaning. If you find yourself in a situation you do not prefer, you allure “the other,” by submitting lovingly to what you cannot change. Love what you don’t prefer, and it will yield to your preference. You have your preferences, we all do, but they don’t have you.
When you are in a situation that seems anti-preferential, surrender, and the situation will bend. Live with a forgiving heart and reality will become supple, leaning into your direction of preference as and when it wills. Love binds, bends, and attracts, but first, love, bend and live contritely.