Tuesday, December 14, 2021
Have you built relationships with others because you feel that you need them; or that they need you? “I can’t live without you” is a dangerous statement to make or to think. Strong relationships can never be built on that kind of desperate neediness; helplessness; loneliness; insecurity; or lack. Those are flimsy foundations, formed to “cure” you or to bump up your perceived status in the world. Weak foundations are those that are formed on guilt. For intimate relationships, those built purely upon carnal desires are doomed, too. No one is in your life to “take care” of you that way. There’s no such deficiency about you that another can complete or fulfill – that’s too much to ask of another, and frankly not even their responsibility.
Gauge how deep the foundation goes with everyone in your life. If you’re lucky enough to have relationships that go to the depths of your soul, those that bring you unmistakable good energy, each and every time you are in their presence – you’ve got something to explore! Good energy is gauged by how you feel when you’re together. Do they bring out your best or your worst characteristics? If you’re curious about the other, in a genuine sense of getting to know them more fully, and to love their very presence more joyfully, then you’ve got a keeper. True love is built on a foundation of joy – the joy of being together in real time – localized experiences, face-to-face encounters, those that are repeatable and inexhaustible. Carefully examine the foundation upon which all your relationships are built. If it’s for social status, it’s flimsy. If it’s to “complete” you or to “cure” your loneliness, it’s flimsy. If it’s out of guilt or pity, it’s flimsy. You can always pour a new foundation, if the one you’re on is flimsy. If you can’t, it might be a sign that it’s time to let those people go from your life.