Monday, May 31, 2021
I always thought loneliness was cured by spending time with others, but people don’t cure loneliness, they only provide a distraction to the sensation of feeling alone. I came to realize, that in many ways, spending quality time alone was what was necessary to cure the feelings of loneliness. But “quality time” means treating yourself like an honored guest, and being very attentive to what it is you desire, or to what you’d like to do, in the present moment.
Ask yourself these questions: “What can I do for you, right now?” “What would you like to do, now?” Sit quietly, and allow you inner desire to respond to what you’ve asked. When I ask myself these questions, I’m surprised at what I need to do. Sometimes, I realize that I might need to reach out to a friend and check in on them, or to clean my house, or to get some exercise or rest. I often realize my needs and my desires are fluid (not compulsive or routine), and I try to pay attention to them, as they arise in the present moment. I’ve learned that I love to do “nothing” – to just sit and to BE. This restores me in ways I never understood, until I started paying attention to myself.
As you learn to keep better company with yourself, you will realize you don’t need anybody to make you happy, to feel secure, and to be at peace. Yes, our loved ones are very important, but they are not the sole provider of inner strength and the ability that we possess to care for ourselves. If you learn to tap into and to lean onto the inner dimension of strength that exists in all humans, not only will the feelings of loneliness dissolve, but you’ll have more energy and strength to give to others – especially when they desire to be with you. The truth is that nobody can host, comfort, attend to, and love you better than you can host, comfort, attend to, and love yourself.