Tuesday, February 28, 2023
The only people who don’t have problems in this world are those buried in cemeteries. Many people spend their lives avoiding problems, and when they can’t, they go on emotional tirades, trying to get rid of them. This reflexive reaction is learned at a young age, that when there’s a problem, we can pitch a fit to “solve” it; or we can avoid it, and it will somehow, magically go away; or we can try to change everything and everyone, as if rearranging the uncontrollable environment is somehow the actual solution. Seething, grasping, and clamping down on a problem is usually the first response, but it cannot solve a thing, it only adds to the drama.
Very few of us learn how to step back as a first response, not identifying with problems in such a way that it becomes who we are. Many people identify with their problems as a means of getting attention. What would they talk about if they didn’t have them? Many are motivated by conflict itself, working to “solve things” because they enjoy being the so-called hero.
But a truly intelligent person goes within. Problem-solving skills come from finding the pinpoint of silence first, and action second. Out of that calm, a solution will emerge, but it may take a few days, or longer. If the answer doesn’t come, many times the problem dissolves on its own, just by stepping back. There are actually two places where problems don’t exist, the cemetery, and that inner space within you. You can be the peace that surpasses all problems, but you can never become your problems. You just have to know where to go to find solutions, when there is a problem. It always starts with the silence that emerges from calm breathing, not from the rage that festers from seething. Good problem-solving is a lifetime practice.