Monday, March 6, 2023
For years I lived with a general unease. I harped on the problems. It was the only song I knew. But what I didn’t know was that the human experience allows for contrasting interpretations, simultaneously in cohabitation. If there was always something wrong, as I had perceived it, then that meant that hidden in all of that wrongness, imperfection, injustice, and unease was something perpetually right; something always perfect; something whole; and something completely at rest. I just knew nothing about it.
I first had to notice the source of my discomfort, which I erroneously thought were my circumstances and my choices. I was always seeing the negative. That’s the easy part. I was focused in the wrong direction. I was in search of an indwelling oasis of peace, but trying to find it in an external source. Then I gave up.
It has taken me almost my entire life to figure out there is nothing wrong, outwardly. If reality dealt me something that I seemed to dislike, expressing that anger, sadness, or frustration never solved it. What’s wrong, as externally perceived, is an illusion. If it’s external, then it’s temporary, and anything that changes isn’t real. My search for fulfillment couldn’t be had in an interpretation of reality. It could only be found in constant, unconditional acceptance of it. It was time for me to notice, not the temporary, but the constant, that realm that has no limits, no future, no past. It’s inner surrender to what is, a peace that understands, all the time. It’s right, smack-dab in the middle of your soul, if only you could stop long enough to notice it. If you start paying attention, you’ll find the source of unconditional love, and that’s all anyone is ever looking for. Find it in yourself, and it will blossom into a joy you never knew existed.