Thursday, November 11, 2021
From whom do you need validation, support, and acceptance? Putting these responsibilities into the hands of another is a pretty tall order. We shouldn’t burden our loved ones this way. It’s simply not their responsibility to keep you feeling secure.
No matter how much someone claims to love you, they cannot give you the right amount and the specific kinds of validation, support, and acceptance that you seek. How could they ever know? Even if you express what you need in words, those words will fall short. They’ll never know exactly what to do, or how to be in order to make you feel fulfilled. Feeling supported, validated, and accepted – that’s your job. In order to feel those things, you have to give those things.
The only way to feel validated, supported, and accepted is to give it to yourself first, and then give it to others. But give in your own ways. Give to others your particular “brand” of support, validation, and acceptance, that’s all you can do anyway. Lead by example. It’s not your responsibility that they “receive” it in the ways you intend to give, but there is no need to play a guessing game either. Validate, support, and accept yourself first. Then give it away, in your own personal style, to those you love. If they are not 100% satisfied, that’s not your fault. Their satisfaction isn’t your responsibility, and your satisfaction isn’t theirs, either. So accept, support, and validate yourself first, and then express those things in your love towards others. It’s the only way you’ll totally fulfill your needs to be accepted, validated, and supported.