Thursday, October 27, 2022
The best way to live is to limit choice, like a parent limits choice for a child. Expecting to have whatever you want, to go wherever you want, to do whatever impulsive thing you want is totally irresponsible. Yet the planet is full of people who live as though the world were “theirs” for the taking. And there are people on the planet who disregard their responsibility to care for others, the planet, and for themselves. Love is caring, not carefree.
A good parent doesn’t allow their child to make bath time optional, or to eat whatever they want. A parent teaches their child to restrict desire, and limit choice, despite how the child’s compulsive nature pulls against that loving guidance. Good parenting isn’t punitive, it’s loving.
Good parenting teaches a child the difference between impulse and responsibility. Oh, sometimes giving in to a wild hair is OK. But you cannot live by compulsions, every time they arise. You have to live by principles, and many of those are restrictive in nature. Your tongue will lash out. Your hand will reach for that brownie. Your eyes will get lulled into endless phone scrolling. Your temper will hurt people. Taming yourself is hard. Not a person on the planet gets a “carefree” life. And nobody gets to be careless, either. Your responsibility is to care, not to obsess, but to be compassionate. No-one gets the “freedom” to let themselves go, disregarding what’s right without a consequence. You can be worry free, but never carefree. The best way to love is to limit choice, and to accept responsibility for what’s best, not to give in to your compulsive nature. The best decisions are made, not with a carefree, or careless attitude, but actually quite the opposite, very carefully.