Thursday, October 6, 2022
We often forget that love is a stern teacher, especially when (not if) relationships get rocky. The experiences of love will test your patience, endurance, and your own sanity. No-one likes tests, do they? When problems develop, the first instinct will be to cast blame on the other. That never works. After enough failed relationships, you’ll realize that you are the common denominator, and that’s where things get tough.
The sinew of love is not breakable, it’s the ego that’s breakable. Dissolving one’s exterior arrogance is like pouring acid on a dirty, rust-encrusted surface. Love seems to cause friction between people, but it’s that abrasive, cleansing agent that burns the exterior-nature of our egos. After enough times, it eventually soothes, but it stings for a good, long while. What stings, exactly? It’s when love makes you look at yourself – ouch!
What everyone wants, when they seek a relationship, is growth, not happiness. It’s understanding, integrity, forgiveness, commitment, and generosity that we want. That’s because those are the ingredients of love, and the ego can’t see that. When you’re ready to love, you’re ready to learn that love is a steep, treacherous climb, not a joyride. It’s hard to uncover your own insanity (possessiveness, being clingy, and being manipulative), and it’s the other person who shows you how. There is joy in leaning into your fear; relinquishing your selfishness; understanding what forgiveness is; and in surrendering to your higher power. These are the rewards of true love, but they come from sticking with it, not with trying to cling to the butterflies and roses of your carnal desire. The lessons of true love are really about giving up who you think you are, and learning how to be authentic. It’s never about so-called happiness, or casting blame on the other, when a problem arises.