Thursday, August 21, 2025
My quick draw got me into quicksand. I popped off my mouth, went for the jugular, and bit down. Each time, it came back, worse than before. When my ex-husband was unfaithful, I was out for blood. I contemplated hiring a lawyer to stop his citizenship process.
I remember one evening, planning my evil schemes – to take away his car, take away his citizenship, which hadn’t been finalized yet, and to strip him of all rights and privileges. I wanted to give him the death sentence. The only thing I could do was to set him free. I collapsed and withered at that moment.
How many times have I done a quick draw reply to a baited text? How many times did I make a retaliatory reply to a snarky email? One, too many times. I was Wild Bill Hickok, known for his quick draw and gunfighting skills. But the retaliators are not heroes, but instigators.
We will all understand this – retaliation is self-infliction. It pumps poison through our own veins, not those to whom we are “getting back.” There is no getting back. There is no debt on the actions of others. There’s no payback. You don’t owe them a bop on the head. You can’t anyway. Each person must come to their own realization about the illusion of retaliation’s relief. Retaliation doesn’t relieve you but worsens your condition.
Ultimately, you will release your assailants. You won’t give them grief. You will give them relief – freedom. Quick draw thinking is primate, primal, or monkey brain. Monkey to monkey fighting is getting nowhere. One must access the creative mind – higher, better, and more thoughtful. When you are slow to draw, you free yourself. You have found pause and reason. That gives you access to truth and the relief of giving yourself grief over what you cannot have controlled – someone else’s actions.