Wednesday, June 11, 2025
When someone speaks to you, whether you want them to or not, must you respond? It’s “common courtesy.” But must we?
I once played for a church service after which a lady approached the organ bench in an accosting manner. The organ was too loud, the hymns too slow, the breaths too long. My reharmonization on the last stanzas “ruined it.” Apparently, I was her slave, there to please her, massage her feet, and to whisper sweet nothings into her ear. But my sovereignty could not be diminished, unless of course, I allow it to be.
After she aired her grievances, I simply stared in silence. Then, as the penetrative quiet festered, she withdrew. She started apologizing, melting into a guilty puddle. I never said a mumblin’ word and my dignity wavered not. Just because you text, call, or give – does it mean I must answer, call back, or return the favor? Must I acknowledge you? Common courtesy or insidious demand, a gift cannot be given to an unwilling receiver. A complaint cannot be delivered without reproach. No – you may not.
“Your honor, may I approach the bench?” That right belongs to Your Honor. In your dignified sovereignty, you may decline. You are under no obligation to be a slave to texts, emails, gestures, or invitations. Sovereignty requires nor expects reciprocation. You give if you wish, but you may not approach the bench nor turn me into a recipient of your foulness, your admiration, or your love. Your honor can speak if she pleases, but she wishes to remain silent. If you lay gifts or complaints, do it for your own sake. You can expect receipt, but you may never receive it, ever. That right belongs to Your Honor. Your sovereignty is in your hands, unless you want to be a slave to the “ding” on the phone like the rest of the world.