Saturday, May 31, 2025
I want to tell you about what being rich is; just in case you feel poor.
Richness is waking up each morning.
Richness is turning on the tap and having clean drinking water.
Richness is mobility. Very rich is having reliable transportation, like working legs, a bicycle, or the city bus. Extremely rich is having a car. Superfluously wealthy is having one with a/c, a radio, and reclining seats. The obscene plentitude of hallucinatory opulence is having a sunroof, leather interior, and a backup camera. Disgusting, mind-numbing excess of froth and sugar is having multiple cars. I could go on, but I’ve crossed over into insanity.
Richness is having a bed to sleep on nightly. Very rich is having a nice, comfortable stainless mattress. Obscene, vulgar, and exploitative excess is having plush pillows, a duvet, and silk sheets. Gross frivolity and vomit-inducing luxury is having a mate to share your bed and to snuggle with on cold nights.
Richness is having a clean body and access to a bath. Very rich is having warm water (that hasn’t been used already), cleaning supplies, and privacy. Vulgar, glittering luxury, wasteful sparkles, and a shitload of sheer stupidity is four shower heads, a jacuzzi tub, and lavender aromatherapy wafting over the sensual music of Kenny G.
Richness is opening the fridge to find a cornucopia of sustenance. Opulence is unbuttoning your pants after dessert. Insidious, gut wrenching, maddening shedload of swag is obesity.
When does wealth become so wealthy it becomes poverty? Obesity could be considered a symbol of obscene wealth in the same way a person with 5 houses could be considered “glittering rich.” But the overweight seem miserable. The over-rich are the same. Poor.
Is waking up in the morning not rich enough? What does it take before excess becomes poverty? We’re beyond rich. We’ve now crossed over into insanity.