Tuesday, August 27, 2024
It has taken me many years to understand what living and loving unconditionally really means. It means that there is no person nor condition to blame. There is only our reactions to blame, not the person and/or the conditions that seem to be responsible.
I once attended a church service of lessons and carols for Christmas. This was in a city where I was well-known in music circles. About 1/4 of the way through the service, I got up and left. I later heard that people saw me and made judgements about my departure from the service. There was conjecture that I was displeased with the music, and in an action of protest over the lack of quality, I left.
I’m sure my reputation was besmirched by those who saw me exit the side door. I’m sure the choir people thought it was rude and arrogant of me. I’m sure I made no new friends over my actions. I’m sure I was disruptive to those around me. I’m sure it looked distasteful.
We assume. We assume people’s actions or inactions are personally directed towards us. We assume that those we love are doing something wrong if they don’t call or if they don’t do what we want them to do. We never know why people do what they do. Normally, they’re consumed by their own things. You just never know, so we must love unconditionally. And even if someone does reject you, does it have to be so personally offensive?
The reason why I left that service was because I got notification that my best friend, who was in the hospital at the time, was breathing his last. I couldn’t sit there singing music of good tidings of joy when all I wanted to do was to be alone and grieve. It wasn’t rude. It was the right thing to do. You just never know.