Saturday, August 24, 2024
When you can say to someone that you want nothing but the best for them and mean it, you’ve arrived in the sublime territory of the unconditional. I’m not sure if I have ever really meant what I said to people when I wished them the best. If a student told me they wanted to drop out of my choir, I’d say something to the effect of, “Well, that’s your choice, but….” Then I’d proceed to guilt them of their “mistaken” feelings. Do I really mean it when I say, “Follow your heart.” or “Do what’s best for you.”?
Most of the time, when we tell someone that we want the best for them, there is a parenthetical. What we really mean is, “I want the best for you (as long as it’s the best for me).” Or we might say, “Do as you like (as long as you like me too).” “You can spend time however you wish (as long as I am included).” Are you hiding a parenthetical in your wish for the freedom and goodness of others?
What if someone’s best plan leaves you out? What if their best for the time being is a temporary goodbye? What if someone’s best excludes you forever? That’s a tough one, isn’t it? If you are rejected, can you still wish them “the best?” True transcendence will be able to do this – to wish someone well, even if it’s farewell.
Rejection hurts, but it also hurts to spend time with people who don’t want to be around you. If you follow your heart, and it leads you away, so be it. You must learn to accept that people’s best choice may not include you right now, or exclude you permanently. That’s their best interest, not yours. Wouldn’t you want the freedom to choose as you wish? Then remember, all is well, even a farewell.