Thursday, April 11, 2024
My grandmother, who was a Billy-Graham-loving evangelical, once said something surprising. She thought her new hairdresser was probably gay, but that, in her own words, “he couldn’t help it.”
Words have never been wiser. We can’t help it. I know that we like to think that we can, but in reality that notion is an attempt in futility. It’s a cruel thought, but the phrase “he can’t help it” applies not to those with so-called flaws, deficiencies, or disabilities, but to everything. We cannot help but to be ourselves and to do the things we do. How it comes out, in the end, is beyond our help.
We’re helpless. Our thoughts of being imperfect aren’t true. If you really wrap your mind around this, how can you improve? Can you improve the universe? I’ve written about this before, the present moment, once it forms is what it is. The perfectionist tries to remove its faults, but how can there be a faultless world?
You cannot remove pain, imperfection, and fault, and make it painless, perfect, and faultless. Opposites love each other in perfect union. They are inseparable. The perfectionist keeps lying, trying to sift out fault from perfect. But they are on a wild goose chase. Someone needs to tell them they can’t help it. Dualism cannot be made single-sided.
The words you will say today, the actions you take, the things you encounter – perfectly imperfect. That’s why you can accept every moment. If you’re gay, you can’t help it. If you’re left handed, or if you say something hurtful, you can’t help it. It will come out like it comes out. It might come out differently in the future, and that’s how you learn and grow, but new flaws will appear with each reiteration of thought and action. Nobody’s perfect, but you’re essentially a nobody. You can’t help it. What perfection!