Wednesday, January 3, 2024
Sometimes I feel like a complete fraud. Every word I write comes out with a certain wrongness. Think of that last sentence. Isn’t that an assumption of rightness? The madness never ends (which implies a conclusion!!) In other words, if I tell you that you cannot pin down life, then I’ve just pinned it down. Saying something is “not,” is essentially saying what something is and vice versa.
Every word I attempt to write, I hear the hypocrisy. Every thought I think, I hear the lunacy. You can’t win with words! Damn – I just tried to win by saying you can’t win! If I say language is paradoxical, I’ve just stripped the paradox from it. If I say it’s best to remain silent, then those words assume absolute truth. All of it is a run-on sentence, which is to imply it’s not. Ugh.
Even having a dilemma is a form of not having a dilemma because you are aware of the dilemma. I suppose a real dilemma is not realizing there is a dilemma. But if you don’t realize there is a dilemma, none is to be had! It’s a lot like being wrong. No one has ever been wrong. The sensation of being wrong is unattainable. Being wrong is unknown to you until you figure out what’s wrong, and then at that point, you’re right. How could you be wrong? If you knew, you’d be right.
If I say that you are an undefinable being, those words seem amazing, but it tells you what you are. Words are tricky little buggers. I can’t find the right ones to say today, which means I just found them. The head chases the tail, and the tail chases the head. What a world! Blah, blah, blah.