Wednesday, December 7, 2022
It’s not easy to be at your best under duress. Stressful people are less likely to be able to access the intellect that can creatively solve problems. Challenging situations, if not responded to with the higher brain, can overcome one’s more mature sensibilities, “making” you do futile things that waste energy. Pacing, panic-buying, biting your nails, thinking obsessively, jabbering, hoarding, etc., are all primitive forms of reactivity that yield nothing. Gritting your teeth and clenching down on difficulty only raises physiological tension and blood pressure, never a creative idea, total acceptance, or a solution. Panic never results in overcoming challenge, unless it’s life threatening, and usually it’s not. But even if it is (like a terminal illness), there are mature responses that will yield better results.
When difficulty arises, you cannot protect yourself by withdrawing nor can you shield yourself with denial. Slow down, clear your mind and wait. And then, respond. The moment will let you know what’s required, but not until you find that center of calm. Let it go, if required. Move if required. Be silent if required. What is required of you? To respond peacefully, and to act maturely – especially in challenge.
The challenge of difficulty is in disallowing fear to get the best of you. A first-responder practices responding to an emergency. Life makes you “practice” by giving you difficult situations. Life is not a rehearsal. Challenge is real, and an experiential part of life. Divorce, death, terminal diagnoses, and on and on – experiences that make you respond to them, until you learn how. “What would you do if…?” No-one knows, until it happens. Challenge will find you. In a lifetime you’ll get numerous opportunities to practice responding intelligently, I promise. Just don’t be afraid. Deal with it as it comes. It’s never a choice and it’s never if, but when. Use it as an opportunity to practice.