Wednesday, November 30, 2022
The right words never arise out of fear. Fear of saying the wrong thing makes the wrong thing come out. The only space where truth flows is through alert listening – to yourself. I’m not talking about a tense, defensive kind of alertness, I’m referring to a relaxed confidence. From that space, words are the most potent. Effectiveness comes from a lower place in the body, a calm, centered state that can only be experienced in the moment. Those moments are not rehearsed or scripted. If coming from a heightened state, where temper flares, it will kick up a lot of “ums” and “uhs.”
The key is to sense your inner body, as words are forming. You can be assertive if necessary, but non-reactive. Effectiveness also accesses the fewest words. When you hear a good speaker, or read words from a compelling author, you’re “hearing” a deeper source energy, that penetrating truth that goes beyond the words themselves and draws your attention inward.
You cannot access communicative power unless you, yourself are drawing your attention inward, deliberately, attentively, and in the moment. The moment, if approached with a deeper alertness, will dictate the right words. Rambling makes you seem untrustworthy, like a liar. That’s what makes it possible for us to lie in the first place – we simply don’t point our attention inward, and to the meaning of what we think and say. People who ramble are pointing attention away from the words and onto the reactive, raw emotions. Communicators point words towards the meaning. That’s how the truth surfaces. If you are alert and calm, totally focused in the moment, the right words will flow at the right time. The key is to be present, and to listen intently as the words are forming. This takes practice.