Monday, July 4, 2022
Influential people bring others together in unusual ways. Most of us focus on our differences, but truly influential people try to hone in on commonalities. Our inner world as humans is so very similar (thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc). When we connect to others at that level, we make an impression. That’s what it means to be relatable, and genuine. That’s why really good comedians can have so much influence. They bring people together with humorous stories that we can all relate to.
The inner condition – thoughts, feelings, fears, dreams, failures, and the quirkiness of being human – those are common threads in life. When you connect to commonality, people remember you. They feel connected if they can relate to how “ordinary” you are through the way you tell your story (especially with humor), rather than the details of it.
Our surface stories may be different, but our inner stories are exactly the same. When you separate yourself by telling about what makes you different, it might seem impressive, but it won’t make a lasting impression. Ask someone what they are hoping for – everyone is hoping for something. Ask someone to tell of an experience, and what they learned from it – everybody is learning something. Ask someone to tell you about something that is meaningful to them – we all are in search of meaning. Ask about a failure – we all have failed. Anything that reflects a common bond, even if the stories are worlds apart, is how you win the hearts and minds of others. Show people what makes them exactly like you. You don’t make an impression with your impressive accomplishments, you make an impression by connecting to a common bond.