Wednesday, December 8, 2021
You cannot get your needs met by becoming demanding or compulsive. If you desire to be intimate with another, for example, what really fulfills your desire is when they too desire to share time with you. If they spend time with you reluctantly, out of guilt or pity, or because you’ve demanded it, it won’t satisfy your needs. Intimacy is best fulfilled when two desire to be together in whatever capacity their collective desires brings to the moment. In other words, what you want is for them to want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. You cannot force another to want to be with you no matter how much you demand it.
The ego loves to possess, but we have to understand the difference between compulsive possessiveness and spiritual needs. But be honest about what you need. If you’re not sure, it’s because you haven’t given yourself a chance pay attention. Compulsive needs just pop into the top of your head, and once you satisfy yourself, guilt follows and so does the next compulsion. The ego is insatiable.
Your genuine needs are those that are part of your spiritual path, those things that are calling you to action, prompting you to change your behaviors, or leading you to accept that which you cannot control. A spiritual need speaks with a still, small voice. A compulsion speaks with a nagging demand, and it needs its fix immediately. When you answer the call of a spiritual need, it takes time to discern its message. But once you decipher, and take decisive action or change your attitude or perspective, it will feel right, fulfilling, and deeply satiating. Spiritual fulfillment never comes from actions or thoughts that are prompted by impatience and followed by guilt. Get better at deciphering the difference between compulsion and real needs, and you’ll get back on track, each and every time you stray.