Monday, December 6, 2021
People don’t desire your company because you’re displeased or because you feel wounded. They desire your company because you’re fun to be around and you are joyful – happy to see them, plain and simple. However, there are times we use emotion to get attention. It’s a learned behavior – “If mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy.” Your display of displeasure becomes the leveraging tool that you teach yourself, seemingly to make people do what you want them to. People really don’t want to do what you want them to. They want to do what they want to do. In other words, they want to respond to their inner impulse of desire to be with you, and to give as they see fit, not to please you, to console you, or to make you feel better about yourself. That’s your job.
Displaying your disappointment, dissatisfaction, or displeasure might get you an apology, some attention, or even a foot massage, but it will eventually stop working. Displeasure and sulking will push others away from you. If you use this as a way of getting attention, you will only attract weak, insecure, people-pleasers into your life.
Pressure by displaying your emotional dissatisfaction never creates a bond, it creates bondage. A real bond is created by desire – a honest desire that comes from each person happily wanting to share time together, and each person displaying an honest intention to want to give to each other because it feels good, not to please. Love doesn’t manipulate, petulant emotions do. Learning to decipher the difference between the bond of love, and the bondage of emotional manipulation is hard. Create better bonds with people by responding to what feels right for you, and respond honestly to your desire (not to please or be pleased through emotional manipulation), and you’ll see your relationships really flourish.