Wednesday, November 24, 2021
When you subdue feelings, you repress them by force. Repression of feelings comes in many forms: Ignoring them, forcing them down, keeping quiet, and isolation. Suppression of feelings is talking oneself out of their presence or their validity. Having tender feelings is not a sign of weakness or mental illness, it’s the inability to express yourself, that’s the weakness. Suppressing your emotions, is what causes damage, not expressing them. To express an emotion, to share your story, to create an outlet for yourself – that’s where healing and growth can occur. Suppression (forcibly putting an end to) and repression (the act of subduing by force) only creates internal pressure that will lead to outbursts. If the smoke has no outlet, it will smolder and fester.
You can only heal through expressing; through talking; through sharing. The best that you can do is to be a safe place, not to allow others to unleash on you, or to attack you, but to be a sanctuary where others can be expressive. A compassionate listener doesn’t solve problems, they create a space of strength, where emotions can dissipate and dissolve. A compassionate listener doesn’t absorb the emotions of another, they create a nonstick surface where words (and sometimes actions) can be expressed without repercussions.
A peaceful, compassionate ear can be a vital outlet for someone you love. Create the right, inner, invitatory environment, one that allows healing and lets the emotions dissolve. When they dissolve, the air gets easier to breathe, and the tension eases. Repressed feelings lead to explosive encounters, and abrasive behaviors. Be wary of what emotions you may be repressing and suppressing, but moreover be mindful of creating a safe space for loved ones to express their emotions to you. Everyone needs emotional outlets – not more inlets. Be an outlet, a compassionate ear, and appreciate those who do that for you.