Tuesday, September 14, 2021
The standards to which we hold ourselves, in many ways, are arbitrary and unreachable. But what exactly are we trying to measure, when we put ourselves through all of this scrutiny? Whatever the standard is – dismantle it right away. Throw away the tape measure, the metric you use to feel accomplished, successful, or that you’re on the “winning” side of life. There are hardly any external, competing forces in your life, so reexamine what it is all about. Is life a series of events? Is it a measurement of inventory, accumulation, and history? Numbers on a scale? Dollars in the bank? Number of likes on social media?
If life is strictly by the numbers, so to speak, there’s no specific number that will ever feel like enough. Measuring up to “perfection” is often a floating, arbitrary number or set of circumstances that never brings fulfillment. It’s an unachievable fantasy that we chase. Facts, figures, amounts, etc. are conceptual. But you are not a concept – you are a complex being that cannot be defined by comparing yourself to others, to “perfection,” or some other, arbitrary standard you set for yourself.
You are a unique creature, for whom there is no other model in which to compare. Defuse the competition by examining your own uniqueness. Are you competing against a standard for which there will never be a declared “winner?” Or are you dropping the standard altogether and cooperating with your unique nature? I’m not suggesting giving up on improvement and achievement – I’m suggesting giving up the impossible standards for which there is no gold metal. Give up the struggle of competition. Give up the false comparisons. Give up the gold and just be in awe of how wonderfully unique and capable you are – unable to be compared with any useless or arbitrary standard. You set the standard, just by being you.