Friday, January 10, 2025
A well-meaning young seeker approached the Buddha saying, “My problem is that I suffer. Can you give me some methods?” The Buddha responded, “Suffering is caused by desire. So go out into the woods and try to stop desiring.” After a while, the young seeker returned to the Buddha and said, “Teacher, I still suffer. I can’t stop desiring not to desire.” This is an illustration of what’s called the double bind. As much as I’d like to tell you that your suffering is caused by thinking, I wish I could also tell you how to stop thinking. Thinking seems to be just as spontaneous as desiring. How to stop thinking and how to stop desiring is a mystery.
But there is a feeling of becoming aware of what seems to be causing suffering. You become more aware of your mindless overthinking and false linkages to the cause of your suffering as being another person, a circumstance, or a perceived need. Detachment is a common word tossed in spiritual teaching, but no one seems to really know how this happens. Detachment is a dissolution of the link between something “out there” as being the root cause of a feeling – good or bad.
You are the source of your suffering and your pleasure. You are to be both blamed and praised. You can take credit for what you didn’t mean to say, what appeared as an accident, and what felt like a happening to you. Somehow, you are implicit in all that you witness. Is that cruel? If you say so. Is that fair? If you say so. Is that unfair? If you say so.
It’s all happening. The overlay of interpretation is all happening too! But somehow, individuals transcend it and come out of what seems like a deep sleep. But sleeping or waking – it all happens.